Monday, 31 December 2012
Goodbye my friend
The post Christmas blues arrived early this year as even though the world didn't end on Friday 21st as forecast it was a sad day for me. I took little Bambi to the vet for a scan following recurrent bouts of cystitis and fully expected to collect her later in the day. However the vet called to say that the cause of her problem was most likely a "diffuse tumour" of the bladder and there was nothing that could be done it would only get worse so did I want her to put Bambi down whilst she was still sedated or to have her home and have to put her through the stress of another trip to the surgery later. How can you make a decision like that?
I wanted her back of course but maybe for her sake it would be better to do it now. A few minutes later I called the vet to say "Do it" and then was filled with remorse, guilt and of course incredible sadness. I miss her terribly - Tom has always been more affectionate than Bambi, and so easier perhaps to love, but for company Bambi was my girl as she was always where I was. Now there is no little cat waiting just inside the front door when I return home, no little cat sitting on the chair next to mine at the kitchen table (her favourite place) no little cat at my feet the moment I open a tin of tuna, no gooseberry green eyes beseeching me to pick her up for a cuddle (she mellowed as she got older and realised that being fussed was actually quite good), my heart is broken and although I do know (having been in this dark place before) that time the great healer will work its magic and I will be able to think of Bambi without this terrible weight of sadness just now I want to lie low so forgive me if I haven't been around lately to comment on your posts. Christmas passed in a bit of a blur here I am afraid and the only good thing is that I have lost several pounds in weight everything tasting like cardboard to me just now!
The year 2012 has been a strange year here chez Marigold and I am hoping that 2013 will be a better year filled with good things for us all - so my best wishes to you all for a very happy new year.