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I was reading somebody's blog recently in which she said that she felt she was the odd one out being too unconventional for her conservative friends and not wacky enough for her alternative ones. I know exactly what she meant as I have frequently felt that I don't fit in either!
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a For a start there is the whole blogging thing - why do I do it? Should I respond where possible to every comment (it would be nice but just think of the time it would take) does it matter if I lose a follower or how many comments I get? Have I been sent to Coventry if I get just a few and does it mean I am a really interesting writer if I get a lot? Why do people seem to like some posts more than others etc etc. Am I spending too much time blogging and why do I feel that I must keep up with every blogger who visits my blog and comments? In real life I wouldn't try to forge real friendships with every passing acquaintance so why do I feel I can't stop following someone in case I cause offence (they probably wouldn't even notice anyway!) Don't get me wrong I have made some really good friends out there but why do I feel I have to keep up with the few who I find I am not really akin to (now you might wonder if you fall into that group and if not do you actually want to feel akin to me in view of the fact that I don't fit in?!!!)
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Is it only me that gets frustrated with the dishwasher? I have never been any good at jigsaw puzzles (or any other kind of puzzles) and being a recent convert to dishwashing by machine I so often get angry because I can't fit stuff in properly. It seems to me that I spend enough time playing about trying to fit awkwardly shaped items into the machine that I could have done it twice over by hand. It really makes me cross and I fling it all down on the draining board and say to my husband "You do it - you like jigsaws"!!! - tell me is this only me? a
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qAm I the only person who could very easily manage without a television set? When I happen to mention the amount of time I spend watching TV my friends are often amazed and I then feel like the odd one out - AGAIN! And when I told a friend who had just purchased her second new set in less tha 2 years (not an extra set but a replacement) that we have had ours for 19 years she couldn't believe it. Am I alone in feeling that I cannot justify buying a new one when the one we have works perfectly well even if it is not a flat screen all singing all dancing set?! There are a few programmes which I enjoy but they are few and far between! I well remember a friend who was shocked that we didn't have a video player many years ago saying the next time I saw her - "I have been speaking with T (her husband) and he said "Did you know you could rent one"? Yes I did but at the time had never felt the need for one. Nor the tumble drier which she found strange that I didn't have.
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Am I the only one who cannot understand the current addiction to Cath Kidson and to cupcakes? Why are they so popular I wonder - what am I missing here?
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aThen of course there is my alternative Christmas ideas - when I mentioned the fact that I wasn't buying gifts and that we might have cheese on toast for Christmas lunch if it was only the two of us as I really can't be fussed with Christmas you might have thought I had said I was going to run away with the gypsies or to join the circus - although actually I quite fancy the idea of living in a converted bus with a goat tied to the back and some hens pecking round but my daughter tells me I wouldn't fit in there either as I wouldn't do drugs!!
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I think I probably need to stop wondering and just get on with life - I have made it this far so perhaps it doesn't matter if I am a tad strange?
Well we don't even have a television - so how is that for being, not a tad strange...but a LOT strange. People always repeat with a shocked expression...'you don't have a TV?' I haven't had one for 19 years now. :-)
ReplyDeleteCath K - who is she? :-D
I so love your Christmas houses in the top picture - did you make them? They are wonderful.
Well strange or not, I feel akin to you, but don't worry if you don't feel akin to me!
I like this post. I have always felt like I am the odd one out but I think I do this on purpose. For example when something I like becomes too mainstream I tend to go off of it. For example with the Cath Kidston thing, I admit I quite like some of her stuff but actually went off of her when they featured her minimalist kitchen and home on T.V and I felt I was being taken for a ride. My husband tells me that I don't know how to fill up a dishwasher but then again I am not good at jigsaws either! I sometimes think I would like to run away to the circus - but I don't like clowns so I will give that one a miss! x
ReplyDeleteOh and oh - it's so hard isn't it?
ReplyDeleteI think, for what it is worth, it's good to be different - stand out from the crowd even if you feel like you stand alone most of the time. Pleasing never works - not even just to fit in.
I spend most of my life with my head down, trying not to get noticed - yep little old blogging me that always has so much to say, but then maybe that is my vent.
Finding balance is always difficult and I wonder if you ever do find it, but by saying 'hey this is me' then it's got to make you a more stronger person and confident - maybe? I'm still trying to figure that one out.
Take care MJ and do things for you - to blog or not to blog, leave a comment, have a dvd player, vhs or not - this is your life, your choices, no one else's.
I think I've probably just lifted a load of my shoulders there.
Nina xxx
I think we could all relate to different parts of your post Jane - I for one can't fill a dishwasher, nor can I wrap parcels and I have the inability to fill my car up with fuel....but heh life goes on!
ReplyDeleteRegarding the blogging bit - I like your point about acquaintences etc - I hadn't thought of it like that, but perfectly true. I think go with what you feel and don't feel obligied to comment/visit or follow...
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Hi Jane - another post which struck a chord with me, and I would guess lots of others! Sometimes I think the world has gone mad, and everything is about money and marketing (like Cath Kidston - why does everything have to be designer?). Also, if I see 'We're passionate about...' on a product label once more, I will scream.
ReplyDeleteThere's so much pressure to 'fit in' that sometimes I think we'll all end up exactly the same (same furniture and wallpaper from the same shop, same clothes from the supermarket...), so I certainly wouldn't worry about feeling a bit different - that's a good thing!
And now I'm all paranoid about being one of those you're not akin to...
Dan
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Hi Jane.....I think I am the odd one out here. I really do not care that I do not follow trends, or do as others do. It has taken a long time but 'I like me.'
ReplyDeleteI cannot ride a bike, I cannot swim.....I am reclusive....I don't eat meat but do you know something I am really content, really happy. I have problems, as most people do but that is life.
Jane, I think you have to just be yourself and not justify your actions etc to anyone.
I only blog people I connect with....I deleted those I found tiresome, sounds harsh but I am happier. Perhaps you should do the same but please do not delete me because I will feel insecure (joking).
BTW I adore Cath K because I think her 'stuff' is just so pretty.......
An interesting post. I'm very new to the blogging world. It's a strange, unusual, interesting, exciting place - with some good food for thought at times. We're currently having building work done and haven't got a kitchen. Someone lent us a microwave and was astonished that we'd never had one or used one! No dishwasher, no tumble dryer, TV now, but not for many years.... We're all different aren't we - but as you say, some blogs / posts strike a chord.
ReplyDeleteAbby
No dishwasher or tumbledrier here and not a single bit of Cath Kidston. Just be who you are.
ReplyDeleteI could gladly live without television, I'd love to sit and sew or crochet while listening to the radio... I am already getting that feeling of dread regarding whose parents house we will be at on Christmas day and whose on boxing day... and all the running about and dragging tired children hither and thither... I struggle to comprehend peoples realistic conversations about "Corrie" and "Eastenders" etc... I feel like screaming "you do know its all made up don't you!?" no dishwasher... don't want one... I do however use my tumble dryer... a lot! and CK gets on my pip and all the sheep that bleat after her... she's a canny business woman that re-invented an old fashioned style... but if enough customers raved on about some other up and coming designer they'd be just as big... its the customers that decide your future not necessarily your talent...
ReplyDeleteI like being "Weird" and not being a sheep... most of the time I find myself walking in the opposite direction to the crowd just because I love to look at their stunned faces as I say "no thanks... its not for me!"
You are who you are and your not alone... we'll definitely have to meet up for a cuppa...
x Alex
Hi Jane
ReplyDeleteWell I'm at a stage of my life where I just please myself in what I do and what I say and I don't care who likes it or not! A good friend once said of me "she's honest to the point of bluntness" and he meant it as a compliment. I think it's much better to be honest with everyone and true to your self.
Fitting in with everyone elses plans and ideas won't make you happy.
So Jane just you please yourself but don't run away to the circus because they're cruel to animals!!
By the way I have to be 'honest' and say I do like CK and don't worry, my husband cannot stack a dishwasher to save his life!!
Vivienne x
I've always thought it's better to be unique and take the differences we have with a pinch of salt - there's always common ground and it's good to be somewhere in the mdidle where we 'oddities' can dip in and out of either extreme perhaps...
ReplyDeleteok we have all the bells and whistles, dishwasher dryer tv multiple computers.. i have teenagers,so there! i also dont fit in to any one group (thank god) prob piss everyone off with my bluntness! Medical training does that - if your not dying is there a problem???
ReplyDeletei love your blog and dont care what you have or dont have, you sound normal to me, loved your photos, and who the hell is cath k? :)
What a gift you have Jane! Your musings on the blogging world ring lots of bells with lots of us. I guess this blogging thing is new to all of us and we are all still finding our way around it. You know, none of us has any point of reference here. It's a whole new world so we have to work it out for ourselves. I find some of the blogging "friends" I first thought I had a lot in common with now don't quite fit the bill anymore. Some you grow closer to, some you gradually drift away from as you get to "know" them better.
ReplyDeleteSome posts I write I think are really interesting and then no-one comments and I wonder what went wrong or was it just the wrong day and everyone was too busy. Then I look at the Stats and there are heaps of people who visit but never leave a comment at all. Don't they know how keenly we read our comments?
As for TV - I love it. It's just like reading a book or going to the movies to me - and I love stories. Dishwashers, tumble dryers and all those mod cons? Love 'em, but all that's a personal choice and what suits each of us is OK, don't you think?
Keep going with your blog, I love to visit and "talk" with you and miss you when you aren't around and it's the differences in us that make us interesting ( and some of the similarities too !!!)
Cheers
Helen
Oh my, sometimes I just go on and on !!!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your post Jane. I love it when people are who they are. It's genuine and honest.
ReplyDeleteAnne xx
P.S. It doesn't matter how well I stack the dishwasher, hubbie always move things around to his satisfaction. :-) Now I just leave it to him, so much easier.
ReplyDeleteMy other half hates the fact that our TV is 13 years old, rather on the small side and isn't of the flat-screen variety :0)
ReplyDeleteDishwashers - pah! I hate them. There's one in our flat. I tried to load it once, lost my tempter completely and ended up smashing 2 glasses in the process.
I love your honesty about the blogging community - people like to be liked, and probably do take mild offence if you don't leave regular comments or don't visit for a little while.
We can't make folk like us. I only hope people visit my blog because they like having a glimpse into my everyday world, and not because they feel obliged to.
Jill x
Jane,
ReplyDeleteI think you're mining a rich seam here. I get the impression you're certainly not alone! You and I think alike about a lot of these things and we just have to be who we have to be don't we? You always seem to write what I am thinking. Please keep being that voice of sanity and reason! Lesley x
I have always felt I don't fit in anywhere. I decided when I started my blog that it was mine and I would do what I like with it but I do get a bit miffed theses days if I do lose a follower, but then it does say a "scrapbook of many things" so there may be things people don't like or are bored with. We have a system with the dishwasher - he loads it - I unload it! I watch TV, but I don't watch daytime TV or the likes of Coronation Street or Eastenders so I have no idea what people are on about! Oh and I don't think about Christmas till 27th November - my son's birthday is 26th. And I do like Cath Kidston for her modern twist on the old fashion.
ReplyDeleteJulie xxxxxxxxx
Not for the first time, Jane, your post strikes a chord. My husband would ban all televisions if he could and frequently makes it impossible for me to watch the few programmes I do like - I could live without but feel that would be giving in! We've got a dishwasher and a tumble drier though frequently feel they're more trouble than they are worth. The current cupcake obsession drives me mad - along with a lot of other trendiness, but I don't mind CK except it's way out of my price range usually. And you know I'm with you on the Christmas Thing...
ReplyDeleteYou have a knack of pondering on just the right questions Jane. I remember when you posted about your thoughts on Christmas and how it struck a chord with many, including me. It seems to me that we in this blogging community share many ideals.
ReplyDeleteNo dishwasher, tumble dryer, cup-cakes or Cath Kidston here, not because I don't think her stuff is pretty but because I don't really need any of it. Most of the time I'm happy with my lot and ignore advertising and trends with a vengeance. I only watch TV when there's something I want to watch, cannot stand soaps or reality TV and have no idea what people are going on about half the time. I try to hide the remote control from the OH who loves TV, much to my dismay!
As for blogging, I think we all go through this crisis of confidence and ask ourselves why we do it and who is it for. Just blog for yourself Jane and don't feel guilty or obliged. I've noticed a few followers have stopped following mine and there are ones that I haven't bonded with or heard from in a long time that I would consider stopping if I knew how to!! I'm so happy to have found a niche of like-minded blog friends who have enriched my life with their own blogs. I'm often late with my comments but only because life comes first; you cannot become a slave to commenting and replying.
We are all individuals and I don't think you are in the least bit strange, I feel akin to you more and more as I get to know you further!
Jeanne
xx
Didn't realise I had gone on for so long - sorry!!!
ReplyDeletex
Well, I understand you perfectly. I feel that I don't fit anywhere too and yes, I am very happy with my old TV (it works like the new fashionable ones work - marvel!), not having a banquet for Christmas or knitting in my spare afternoons off from work. Too conservative and old-fashioned for my friends. But seriously, who cares? :-)
ReplyDeleteHi Jane, I don't know you but I would like too. I think we are all who we are suppose to be and I salute you for doing just that. Thank goodness we are not all alike, boy would life be dull! I believe we should all be loved unconditionally dispite our corks or attributes. Hugs, Robin
ReplyDeleteWow, what a great post. A really good read.
ReplyDeleteI certainly get the being too alternative for one set of friends and not alternative enough for others. It's so weird isn't it? I end up feeling displaced a lot of the time.
Variety, the spice of life! I certainly don't fit into a 'box' - take me or leave me is the attitude I tend to take.
ReplyDeleteI don't enjoy Christmas, and I agree if we had a snack for a meal on the 'day' that'd suit me fine. We don't buy presents except for our daughter, and haven't for anyone else for the last 33 years.
Enjoy being YOU - you're a very special person!
lol love this post. I think most people are like this to tell you the truth - e.g. wondering what people think of them. I have video player or recorder (well probably do in the loft but not one we use), I don't have a tumble dryer or an iron gasp! Cath Kidston, like her stuff but can't see why it is so expensive, cupcakes hhmmm I do like them as they are sweet :-) x
ReplyDeleteGreat post! I have a tv, but no dishwasher, tumbledryer or microwave! It's good to hear that others feel they don't fit in either, I often do. Mainly because I'm not like lots of people my age, going out drinking/clubbing. I would much rather be at home spending time with my husband (even if he's just fallen asleep on the sofa!). But as other's have already said, everyone is different and it would be dull otherwise! :) x
ReplyDeleteLove the post Jane, lots to think about. We don't have a dishwasher but we do have a television, I'd be quite happy with just a radio. As for Christmas, I'm with you, unfortunately I think the family might complain if I dished up cheese on toast. With regard to blogging I feel a bit guilty if I don't visit regularly, which is ridiculous as I don't expect to see and talk to my friends everyday.
ReplyDeleteAs the others have said, it's good to be different so just be yourself.
Well Jane you've done it again - you have struck a great chord. I do have a flat screen TV and sky and a dishwasher, but I have carpets - no laminate floor, and no tumble dryer. I don't like musicals or The Apprentice and am absolutely rubbish at naming any celebs of any sort. I wear comfy clothes ALL the time and don't own a smart pair of shoes. I could go on - you are who you are - and your friends don't care what you have or don't have, they love you for who you are - just like we do.
ReplyDeleteOh Jane, this was so funny and so good. I think we don't need to 'fit in' anywhere, because really, what is 'fitting in'? Who decides what makes us fit or not fit? I could pretty much do without TV, but I do really like my dishwasher, although, I've noticed that the time and water it takes to wash the dishes, I could have had them done in half the time and with half the water--but I'd rather sit and read a book or be on the computer instead of washing dishes... so, do I fit in? Sometimes I feel as if I am too wild for my conservative friends, but then, I don't think I have any 'wild' friends. Fun, fun post. Oh, and thank you for the times you have stopped by my blog!
ReplyDeleteYou certainly struck a chord with me, with this post, and it seems with many others!
ReplyDeleteI love your posts and the person you appear to be!
Thanks so much for kind words at mine, and the regular calls.
Jane, this post is so refreshing. I love reading blogs where people are honest and (appear to be) not trying to be something they are not. You have a lovely gift of striking the right chord with your posts.
ReplyDeleteThe world would be a very boring place indeed if we were all the same.
I have found that my interests are changing even within the very short time I have been blogging and subscribing to blogs. Life is forever changing and so are people. I just go with the flow, if it interests me - great, if it doesn't, oh well!
I can load the dishwasher and (shock horror) read a map!
I quite like Cath K's designs but don't have any of them and am not really sure why there is such a fuss over them, there are other equally beautiful things out there and usually so much cheaper.
Fantastic post, I am with you on so much of this! I have enjoyed reading all the comments too. Planning to run away with the gypsies any day now to escape Christmas! Lizzie x
ReplyDeleteLove your post Jane, you are so right. I rarely watch TV as I don't really get the time although I have to admit that when I do, I watch rubbishy stuff purely because I don't need to think. Sounds shallow I know! I used to love CK back in the days when she only had one shop but now that she's everywhere I don't bother. I like to have and be unique and she doesn't fit that anymore. We don't do tumble driers but I confess I couldn't live without the dishwasher, even though it's rubbish and things often come out dirtier than before they went in! I do enjoy popping in to hear your musings and it's always lovely when you visit me too, although I'm going to check to see whether you've stopped 'following' !!!!
ReplyDeleteHave a lovely weekend
Kate xox
I LOVE it that you are opinionated and quirky. Hurrah! And what is all this feeling of what we SHOULD do about blogging or??? anything for that matter.
ReplyDeleteHaven't we earned some freedom by now???
Love and still laughing,
Sharon Lovejoy Writes from Sunflower House and a Little Green Island
Jane..I'd love to meet up with you for a cuppa sometime :-)
ReplyDeleteYou voiced all my thoughts about blogging ....and other stuff! And as for Cath Kidson...can't bear all those sugary colours!
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