It's been a roller coaster year as I had an eye operation at Easter and then a second one at the beginning of October and have gone through the gamut of emotions after each ranging from fear and anxiety, frustration and despair to joy and immense gratitude. There were times when I was on top of the world as my sight was so much improved and moments when I was in the Slough of Despond when I lost my faith in eventual recovery and even, dare I say it, in the wonderful surgeon I have been seeing. I developed blepharitis and later an allergy to the drops which left me with a horrid red, scaly rash round the eye and then when I thought I was out of the woods with the first eye and just about to have the second one done, a broken blood vessel which left me with a bloodshot area on the newly pristine eye surface which I worried about. I also hadn't realised that the pterygia could be cancerous which they weren't but of course I worried about that too! However all is well and I am gradually reducing the eyedrops and am to see the surgeon again in February when I should have finished them altogether. I am hopeful that this will be the end of the story.
I have learned a lot over the past year and had plenty of time for reflection not being able to see to read, do any crafting or even watch television some of the time and I realised that there is more to sight than being able to see - that is just the mechanics of it - how and what I see has changed the way I think and the way I see things is about who I am. I have been given the precious gift of clear sight again and an unexpected extra gift - that of a new lease of life! Now that I can see better I feel different - younger at heart and once again the capable person I used to be and for that I will be eternally grateful. Every time I thread a needle to do some stiutching I marvel at the skill of the surgeon - I bet he didn't lick the thread to get it through the eye of the needle (at least I hope not!) nor say "That'll do" if the stitching wasn't quite right!!
My mantras for 2017 are:
|One of a couple of little tiles on the shed wall|
Accentuate the positive for I have been guilty of negativity and complaining instead of seeing the wonder of life which is now there for me to see if only I take notice.
Now that I can see to read I have been making up for lost time getting through several books a week and have just finished one I can recommend to you: The Outrun by Amy Liptrot which is a life affirming read about the power of Nature to heal even though the author didn't seek nor expect Nature to heal her alcohol addiction.
Wishing you all a healthy and happy 2017