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Wednesday, 15 April 2020

News from the Bunker

My plans to spend more time on things other than the internet, computer and telephone here I am 10 days later still not having done much in the way of creativity though perhaps a little less on communication.

Easter came and went and was a very quiet time for us all.  The Wanderer alone in her little bunker in London and us here in our bigger bunker in Somerset.  The weather was great with sunshine wall to wall - would be wouldn't it when nobody could go anywhere!!  I did wonder whether to bother with any decorations - I usually have a vase of twigs with tiny new leaves which open over the weekend decorated with coloured eggs but this year I wasn't in the mood but then thought that not bothering might be the slipery slope to not caring so did at least pile the eggs into a basket and add some primroses from the garden!!

I also made a cake to use up some mini eggs I had bought thinking perhaps the Wanderer might be joining us over Easter which was of course not to be.  I have made this chocolate cake recipe hundreds of times and it is usually good but for some reason everything I touch lately isn't as good as it used to be!  (Age related or mood perhaps?)  It didn't rise as it should and so was more of a chocolate biscuit.  This however created a topic of conversation when I Skyped my French friend in France on Monday morning as translation of biscuit/sponge/gateau etc were discussed and what each meant to us.  She had made some hot cross buns and had problems with the crosses which for some reason  had sunk into the buns when cooked and were invisible!  So it made for a laugh to share our failures.

I needed a couple of birthday cards for birthdays this week so set to making those but there again maybe due to leaving it till the last minute they didn't go according to plan either.  My next task is to sort out the paper and card and other items required and to get some new sticky things as my sticky pads and double sided tape had dried out and were not sticky, my Pritt stick wouldn't glide and left clumps of glue here and there and my Copydex tube is almost empty and comes out in blobs!  I sent the cards anyway along with messages to say they came with love even if not much creativity!!

I am still feeling very up and down emotionally and wondering exactly we are meant to be doing or not doing having had so many friends asking why I was still doing my own shopping etc so when a friend in Guildford asked if I had heard that Waitrose was offering an over 70s free delivery of up to 20 items I called our local store to find out more.  Seemed they were willing to deliver to me over 5 miles from the store (but the nearest one to us) and so my spirits lifted and I placed my order - 17 items and 3 for a neighbour - and it was delivered the following day all just as hoped.  At least my friends wouldn't have to concern themselves with my well being any more.  BUT this week when I called to place my order I was told that due to increased demand from customers living in Sherborne they could no longer deliver to those not actually living there and so I was back to square one!!  Feeling very disappointed especially having tried as suggested their store in Crewkerne and 9 miles away without success.  "You might get lucky with click and collect" the lady there suggested and then went on to tell me I would need to place my order in the usual way (whatever that was) and then add my government number which would give me priority (what number?) seems if I had had a letter from the NHS I'd have a number which I could quote.  Failed again as I am too healthy and don't have any underlying conditions and thus a letter (thank goodness of course)  I gather that various supermarkets in Yeovil are open for the elderly at 7.00 am but there is likely to be a queue!  My mood plummeted further when I had a call from my sister-in-law who was all happy and bright and who told me I shouldn't let things get to me as we can't do anything about the situation of course I know that and does she think I like allowing things to get to me or choose to feel this way?!  Then whilst making some cheese scones the Mouli grater collapsed and the grated cheese went eveerywhere and I'd had enough and stormed off to bed!!  I am not proud of this childish behaviour but am just telling it like it is.  I haven't felt so down for a very long time now and felt guilty as I know how lucky I am in the greater scheme of things I have nothing to worry about when others are really struggling but that makes no difference but simply adds a good dose of guilt to the mix!

Of course I came back down and got on with the lunch and we had it an hour late but so what?!  After lunch I needed to post the cards I had made so I walked up through the woods and out onto the main road and along to the postbox.  A little further along the road is the petrol station which has a little M&S Food shop and I got quite a few things from my list and at the checkout the lad asked if I would like him to help me carry it to my car but on hearing that I had walked he asked where I lived and suggested I could borrow one of their trolleys (not a good idea through the wood) but then the very helpful young woman who I'd asked where something was offered to drive round in her break and deliver it!!  My faith in humankind was restored at a stroke!! I could have carried it all as one was a back pack and one a shopping bag.  So I will continue to shop there where possible as the idea of getting to Morrisons by 7.00 and having to queue is a definite no no for me!  I am barely awake at that time let alone up and dressed.  I am determined to manage using smaller shops rather than the supermarkets.  So we have had some lovely fresh strawberries for dessert today and I have two chocolate eclairs in the freezer for another day, we have plenty of bananas and oranges now and a veggie box came yesterday so we shall get our 5 a day alright.  I'll cross the other bridges when we get to them.

courtesy of Google images

Today I am feeling much more on an even keel perhaps because of the walk yesterday and having done my meditation this morning too.  I must take note of the motto shown in the picture above which was my junior school one and I can see it hanging on the wall in the classroom even all these years later.  Ours wasn't illustrated just the words but this one with its 50s style children seem appropriate.

I gather from some other bloggers' posts that I am not alone in feeling this way although there are those others who are quite enjoying the enforced isolation at home.  I must see if I can get some flour and do some bread making and other baking along with some crochet or scrabooking as practice makes perfect and maybe I will do better if I try. 

Not sure what's happened to the text and why it is black not the same as the rest of the post as it is all the same size and colour in Edit! 


  1. It is good to read you have a source for fresh produce. Your wit makes me smile.
    The cake looks perfect from this view.

    Managing meals with grocery amount increases is a challenge, so much food! For a day or so, it lead to over eating. Getting back to not so many meals is another challenge. I think maybe when the stay home orders are lifted, there might be a quiz.

  2. I think it understandable that you had a bit of a wobble, you are used to getting about and now probably feel restricted. I have to arrange my mind to expect a certain activity to happen on the morrow, otherwise everything I touch turns to ashes. So tomorrow will be bread making, thank goodness I bought that little tub of fast yeast last year, it is best before end 2021. The flour is fresh from Ocado so I am ready for the fray tomorrow morning. I have just been investigating sourdough starters on eBay, it was very intresting to see since the one I tried to make doesn't look much like those on line. I might just invest in one! Stay smiley!

  3. Flour is back in the shops here, but I dont make bread so I'm not bothering to get any. I am fortunate to be on the vulnerable list with Sainsburys so can get the occasional slot.
    I so understand your frustration, sometimes every little thing seems to go wrong as if to spite you.
    Just think of Churchill and 'Nevah nevah give up'!!

  4. It's good to have one's faith in the human race bolstered by such kindness. These are strange days and it should be no surprise that we wobble occasionally. I think it's a common occurrence. I'm perhaps busier than normal with teaching online (it's so frustrating), but still have time to cook and garden in between conference calls and such. It's as if we're living in a state of suspended animation, but the suspension is sagging.
    Have a great day!

  5. It is strange times isn't it, times that are so unsettling. I have heard and read that at times like this we can experience grief and also that we don't really understand why we might feel like that.

    You must be really worried about your daughter stuck on her own, you never stop being a parent even when they are independent.

    I am glad to hear that you have found ways to make it feel slightly more bearable for you, it is so hard thought isn't it?


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